Friday, August 13, 2010

Obsession: Good or Bad?

You say the word and people think of something wrong. Fatal Attraction. Compulsion with drinking/drugging/gambling/eating. Driving oneself to the brink of destruction.  But I know it was my obsession with theatre - Broadway - that brought an 18 year old kid to New York City to study the arts. Substitute the word 'passion' and it's not such a bad thing. Perhaps I didn't end up performing on the Great White Way, but I've had a wonderful life and have enjoyed the ride. And now at 41 years old, my obsession with theatre continues in my day job, years of acting and directing and most recently: Next To Normal.   

This Broadway musical came out in 2009, won the Pulitzer Prize - and yes, I'm a year behind everyone else, but I can't stop listening to it on my iPod. I'm not one to go for the 'happy go-lucky musicals' - I want pain, angst - intense feeling. This musical has it all. A modern story about a family trying to cope with real issues - all with a pulsating rock score.  Check it out if you're in NYC

So yes, I become obsessed and listen to things over and over and replay  how it appeared when I saw it. I suppose that is a metaphor for my life as I know I've often done that with real-life situations too.  If only I had done "X" - perhaps I could have changed the outcome. Maybe reliving it, something will change this time. (But we all know, that doesn't happen.)

As I do the mental inventory about my life I can see where obsession (let's substitute 'passion' again) has dictated so many choices I've made. I fervently worked hard at becoming an actor...making my way on to television and tours. I wanted to write the Great American Musical and found myself in the BMI Musical Theatre workshop striving for that goal. I grew tired of my Corporate America job and walked away to end back up in the creative arts. And the past few years, it has all gone back to writing. Only this time, the musical score stays in my brain and short stories come out on the paper. And then I explore the internet searching for places that will take those stories and sometimes publish them (after many rejections.) And now, I've moved on to writing novels. Two of which are out 'in the world' trying to find that one publisher that will love them as passionately as I do. A third is still sitting on the files of the computer while a 4th is trudging through my mind trying to make something of itself. 

Obsession? I suppose you could say that.  

I like to think I'm just as normal as the next guy - or at least living as close to normal as I can get.

1 comment:

  1. My friend Jim just posted a status update that he'd seen the show twice already and loves it. Funny coincidence. I guess I'll have to see it next time I'm in NYC.