Sunday, May 13, 2012

My Mother's Journey

It's Mother's Day. The day we celebrate those women who raised us...who made us the people we are today. I wanted to use my blog to share part of my mother's journal (with her permission) of the journey she has started on the past two weeks. 


I've shared of her strength and courage in some of my postings recently as she was diagnosed with breast cancer almost two weeks ago. But I asked if I could share this with people that read my blog: to not only celebrate her on this day, but to perhaps speak to someone else going through it. 


Mom wrote this only a few days after she found out and shared it with me. (She wants to make sure people know she is not a writer, but I told her the words her real and truthful.)


So here they are - in her words:


Ok, so I guess it's time to write about it. By IT I mean "the big C".  Cancer. My Dr. told me on May 1st that I have cancer in my right breast. People keep asking me how I'm doing. (I know they don't know what else to say.) And so I'm now asking myself "How am I doing?" and I don't know how to answer. 


Was it a shock, yes of course it was. When he said that word I think I kind of went someplace else. I remember talking to him and telling him I wanted the pathology report to send to my son in law, but I don't remember everything else he said. Later I started to remember tests he had mentioned and possible treatments. I jumped right in to "What do I need to do about this".  


I keep waiting for that 'ah ha' moment. That "Oh my God, I've got cancer" moment. But it hasn't come yet. Shouldn't I be crying and screaming "WHY ME" or something like that? But I don't even feel scared or even destined to die from this (even though I know it's possible)...maybe I'll just wake up one night screaming.


Everyone keeps saying how strong I am. Funny I don't feel strong. I'm just trying to get the best help I can get with this. I'm still sleeping at night and going to school and reading with the kids and making sure they are making their letters correctly. So am I weird or could I still be in shock or am I just accepting what will be will be? 


Only time will tell.


My mother is a foster grandparent at a public school with kindergarten kids and they love that she helps them 'with their letters and reads to them'. She keeps going to work and only took off this past Tuesday to go see a specialist and then again on Thursday for an MRI. Now we wait for more info from the doctor this Tuesday, but with each step she takes on this road...she demonstrates to us how she is the strongest person I know. (Even if her journal says otherwise.)


Happy Mother's Day, Mom. Love you!



16 comments:

  1. What a beautiful tribute to an amazing woman. I think her journal shows just how strong she is. She is in my thoughts, as are you.

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    1. Thanks so much, Jeff. She has shown strength to our family for years and this is one more way in which she is showing it to us.

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  2. What a wonderful post, Greg. I could feel the "heart" beating throughout it.

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  3. Your mom is very strong and has a singular writing voice. I feel blessed to know you and through you Sandra Goldston. You are and have been in my prayers.

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  4. What a wonderful Mother's Day present to all of us. Your Mom sounds so grounded and I can tell where you sense of humor comes from. I think it's brilliant and vital that she's active in the community and enjoying helping and giving back to the kids. All of these attributes are going to continue to give her the strength and clarity to help her deal with whatever comes her way.

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    1. Such nice words, Arthur. Thanks so much. She's been in early child ed for years and didn't let 'retirement' stop her. :-)

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  5. Your mother is very strong. I will keep her in my prayers as she goes on this journey. Happy Mother's Day to her! :)

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    1. Thank you, Sabrina. Prayers mean a lot.

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  6. I'm sorry for the struggle she has ahead of her. We went through it last year with my Sister In Law. It will be a battle but I know from reading what she wrote, what you say about her and what I read in Proud Pants that she is a strong and will persevere. She will show this disease that it's HER body and she's not gonna let anything take it over! My best wishes and thoughts to her, you and everyone who loves her.
    P.S. I also recommend she start a CaringBridge site so she can update everyone at once when she chooses and doesn't have to send out dozens of emails or phone calls.

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    1. Thanks, Joye for your words and advice. She has a wonderful support system (though it's hard for me & Ant to be so far away) - but we get to see her in three weeks and I can't wait! (I was happy she let me post this today and perhaps she'll let me share others throughout this battle.) Thank you!

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  7. Hi Greg, and belated Happy Mother's Day to your wonderful mom! Thank you both for sharing the story. It's a beginning of a journey of hope and trials. And I'm sure your mother will come out of it triumphant. Yours (and hers) is a heartfelt post. I can say that this is beatable. I'm not saying that there won't be obstacles, but, from your mother's beautiful, touching writing, I'm sure she'll do just fine.

    Happy Mother's Day yesterday, today and every day.
    Please keep us posted. Thanks again for a wonderful post!
    Alina

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    1. You are always there with such kind words, Alina. Thanks so much! Truly do appreciate it.

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  8. Greg,

    I am sending my wish for strength and balance to you, Ant and your Mom. These trials are opportunities for us to connect and bond to our loved ones and friends for support and caring...I hope you know that I would be honored to share my best energy with you as you move through this and whatever comes.

    Melissa

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    1. Soooo kind of you, Melissa. Thank you so much!

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