It's Mother's Day. The day we celebrate those women who raised us...who made us the people we are today. I wanted to use my blog to share part of my mother's journal (with her permission) of the journey she has started on the past two weeks.
I've shared of her strength and courage in some of my postings recently as she was diagnosed with breast cancer almost two weeks ago. But I asked if I could share this with people that read my blog: to not only celebrate her on this day, but to perhaps speak to someone else going through it.
Mom wrote this only a few days after she found out and shared it with me. (She wants to make sure people know she is not a writer, but I told her the words her real and truthful.)
So here they are - in her words:
Ok, so I guess it's time to write about it. By IT I mean "the big C". Cancer. My Dr. told me on May 1st that I have cancer in my right breast. People keep asking me how I'm doing. (I know they don't know what else to say.) And so I'm now asking myself "How am I doing?" and I don't know how to answer.
Was it a shock, yes of course it was. When he said that word I think I kind of went someplace else. I remember talking to him and telling him I wanted the pathology report to send to my son in law, but I don't remember everything else he said. Later I started to remember tests he had mentioned and possible treatments. I jumped right in to "What do I need to do about this".
I keep waiting for that 'ah ha' moment. That "Oh my God, I've got cancer" moment. But it hasn't come yet. Shouldn't I be crying and screaming "WHY ME" or something like that? But I don't even feel scared or even destined to die from this (even though I know it's possible)...maybe I'll just wake up one night screaming.
Everyone keeps saying how strong I am. Funny I don't feel strong. I'm just trying to get the best help I can get with this. I'm still sleeping at night and going to school and reading with the kids and making sure they are making their letters correctly. So am I weird or could I still be in shock or am I just accepting what will be will be?
Only time will tell.
My mother is a foster grandparent at a public school with kindergarten kids and they love that she helps them 'with their letters and reads to them'. She keeps going to work and only took off this past Tuesday to go see a specialist and then again on Thursday for an MRI. Now we wait for more info from the doctor this Tuesday, but with each step she takes on this road...she demonstrates to us how she is the strongest person I know. (Even if her journal says otherwise.)
Happy Mother's Day, Mom. Love you!