Friday, July 6, 2012

When You Can't Fix It

My name is Greg and I'm a fixer.

No, I don't mean I'm a handyman that runs around the house seeking things that are broken so I can repair them. (Trust me: that's not what I mean.)

I mean when I see a problem, I want to know what I can do to correct it. This has aided me greatly throughout my career. Both working in IT and web development to all I've done in the arts with directing, managing, and writing.

But where it can be a problem is in people's lives. Not that I'm a buttinsky. The people come to me. I swear! I have that face that says "tell me your problems" and many times I do hear them. Friends, family, acquaintances, strangers on a vacation. People do like to share with me. I like to listen. I like to give advice. And unfortunately...I like to 'fix'.

Sometimes it is something simple and I can do my little online research and get back to the person with "have you tried this?"

But sometimes you just can't fix things for people and that's when I feel the worst. I see things happening in people's lives and sometimes I get too involved and start planning out if they only did X they could move on to Y and my involvement snowballs into an unpaid life-coach who can't get out. Now for friends reading this...PLEASE know that doesn't mean I don't want to hear what's going on in your lives. I think you all know that I want/try to fix whatever I can. And I do wish I could help people get out of whatever problem they may be having in their life. I really do. That's the hardest part about being a 'fixer'.

Sometimes, we just can't fix the problem.

I don't like that feeling.

2 comments:

  1. Being a fixer is never easy. I learned that lesson long ago, and stopped trying. Now, I will offer advice when asked, but only when asked, as I feel you do as well. I have found that the best way to be a fixer, is to let them try their strategy while I stand back and observe. If they succeed "Wonderful!" My job is done. If they don't, "Wonderful!" I get to give advice, if they ask. If they don't ask, "Wonderful!" I don't get blamed for their mistake. It all depends on the perspective.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Great perspective, Jeff. Advice is good. Then let the chips 'fall where they may." :-)

      Delete